A recent trip to a local bank branch to renew a term deposit went something like this:Mouth-breathing Olive Farmer - What're ya payin' on x fer upta a year?
Silken-tongued Manager - I'm not sure, sir. I'll have to look it up. But you might be interested in this product we're offering.
MOF - Listen smart ass, I don't wanna hear nuthin' about no struckchered producks.
SM - No, no. Don't you worry, sir. No structured products for you. But, just listen to this offer.
Total, we were so amazed by the what ensued that we can't resist sharing it with our readers - notwithstanding that the manager told us that the document we asked to take home was 'internal'.
It works like this...
- 1). 70% of the reader's money goes into a 1-year term deposit paying 5.06% interest.
- 2). 30% goes toward the purchase of four index component stocks
- a. Yield variable over maximum 36-month term according to the following conditions:
- End of 1st year: if all four stocks are trading above their value on the day the contract was signed, the bank pays the reader the principal plus 10% and closes out the deal. Otherwise, the bank pays 2% and the contract continues in force.
- End of 2nd year: if all four stocks are trading above their value on the day the contract was signed, the bank pays the reader the principal plus 20% and closes out the deal. Otherwise, the bank pays 2% and the contract continues in force.
- End of 3nd year: if all four stocks are trading above their value on the day the contract was signed, the bank pays the reader the principal plus 30%. Otherwise, the bank pays 2% and the contract comes to an end.
However, if at this time any one of the stocks is trading at less than 60% of its initial value, the bank takes the reader's investment and, rather than returning it, buys and delivers to him or her that value of shares in the worst performing component at the price it traded for 3 years prior.
Mention our name and receive a free newfie pistol.
----------------------------










