Partido Monotonista

A recent interview published by Welling@Weeden (subscriber only but a brief synopsis can be found here) with fund manager Andrew Smithers - in which he convincingly argues that the best economic outcome would be very slow growth over an extended period of time - has given new impetus to the monotonist thesis so dear to Ibex Salad. So much so that we are starting our own political party in preparation for the near-eternally distant (given the lot that are running the place now) 2012 elections.

Readers should feel free to suggest additions, or even changes, to the Partido Monotonista's slate of candidates. We're especially interested in a post for Esperanza Aguirre. We want her in there, but we can't figure out what she's good for.

The PM Slate

Minister of External Affairs - For his proven ability to rub elbows with the diplomatic world's crème de la crème (that's our man on the right in the photo - in case the reader is confused) whilst maintaining top level contacts with the toughest of terrorists, Cambrils homeboy Josep-Lluís Carod-Rovira is the perfect choice for this delicate assignment.


Governor of the Bank of Spain - Who better than the country's current president, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, with his proven ability to display Teutonic budgetary restraint even in times of crisis.












Minister of Public Transport - The new age of environmental consciousness now dawning as the crisis forces us to admit the error of our ways promises a resurgence in the use of public transport, is there anyone more qualified to direct this post so vital to the transformation of the Spanish economy than ex-president José María Aznar (seen here discussing modifications to the schedule of Madrid cercanías with George W. Bush).







Minister of the Environment - Chastened by his demise as Minister of Justice after having been caught hunting without a license, we can think of no one more aware of how mother nature can bite back than Mariano Fernández Bermejo.




Minister of Finance - Who more experienced in the practice of prudent financial stimulus than Álvaro Pérez Alonso - 'El Bigotes'? Seen here both before and after his arrest for influence peddling.











Minister of the Middle Class - Armed with his proletarian beard and gaditano credentials, Cándido Méndez will never bow before demands that the tenured, unionized and permanently contracted Spanish middle class share any of the burden of supporting the no-count mass of unemployed young mileuristas.


Minister of State Subsidies - With two decades of experience making sure that taxpayer funds go to the worthiest projects of the most loyal subjects (oxymoronic as the preceding may be), Manuel Chaves is the man for this post.











Minister of Regional Costume - Spain, tourism being so important to its economy, needs this new department. We propose Francisco Camps, supreme chief of the Valencian Shiny Suit tribe, as inaugural minister.











Minister of Public Works and Festivities - between the to-be-repeated Olympics bid and the burying of the M-30, it has to be Madrid mayor Alberto Ruiz-Gallardón.




Minister of Housing - bankrupt in Murcia in 1992, prior to his 2006 arrest on various corruption-related charges the ultra-efficient zoning and building advisor to the city hall of Marbella, Juan Antonio Roca, managed to amass 2 billion euros in wealth through his marked ability to cut through red tape.



Minister of Justice - Seen here congratulating bosom buddy Francisco Camps (Valencian regional president and proposed Minister of Regional Costume), Juan Luis de la Rúa currently heads the Superior Court of Justice of the same autonomous community. Who says Spain lacks transparency?

Correction: We weren't paying attention. Seems that Mr. de la Rúa stepped down from the TSJV a few days ago. Improves our chances, no?



President - still searching for a suitable candidate, we'll use the guy on the left as an interim excuse.










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