10

One of the nonsense bits of regional self-promotion that one - previously identified as being not from here, but from that magical place known as por ahí which extends from the Sierra Morena to approximately Antarctica - must regularly endure is the eternal claim that los andaluces live better than anyone else on earth. This usually shows up as sort of an extra tapa with the fifth or sixth round of beer with the locals on a hot summer evening and is, of course, a request that one vociferously confirm that Andalucía is, in fact, the promised land.

But who is this writer to shit on his host's parade? Instead, we'll merely point out the annoying possibility that the policy decisions made in an earthly paradise will probably not be, ummm, as good as they could be. This Saturday's Andalucía edition of El País lays it on the line. After 30 years of modernizing the region's educational system through the unremitting application of catch phrases, slogans and stated good intentions, a recent study shows that:

1). 36% of students in 3º de ESO (approximately grade 10 in Canada or the U.S.) are not in the year that 'corresponds to their age';
2). The average result from testing 82,961 students at this level on their ability to communicate using their native language was a 3.28 - 0.22 points below what is considered a passing grade in the context and 0.53 less than in 2008. Various versions of exactly the same apply to the mathematics and other surveys.

The problem might be that, if you live in a place that is predeterminedly perfect - as is Andalucía (and probably much of Spain if a zap through the endless reassuring tripe that is the daily fare of the regional television channels is any indication) - there is neither reward for achieving good outcomes nor punishment for rolling craps with one's bright idea, let alone any indication from either parents or students that the result is anything but just hunky dory. Simply, no matter what one does or doesn't do, one remains precisely in the same best place possible. The task is equivalent to trying to calculate the optimal fiscal stimulus in an infinitely large economy.

That perhaps the only incentive to improve, as implied by the insecurity before people from por ahí betrayed by the opening anecdote, is that others might not see it so is confirmed by Andalucía's education minister, Mar Moreno's, instant adaptive policy adjustment to the bad news - the tests will, rather than continue to be conducted in the first trimester in the future, henceforth be held in the third to bring them in line with those in other regions.

We suppose that it's arguable that the engine on the slowest train in Europe pulls into the station ahead of the caboose.

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To a degree echoing some of the above, we offer our English paraphrase of a joke that appeared in the comments to an entry in La Vanguardia Desde Fuera:

A group comprised of various EU leaders, whilst touring the Louvre, stop in front of a painting of the Garden of Eden.

Angela Merkel is the first to opine: 'Look at the perfection of their bodies. Eve so svelt and slender. Adam so athletic and muscular. They must be Germans'.

Sarkozy, however, is having none of that. 'The sheer eroticism of the two figures tells us that they are surely on the verge of falling into temptation. They must be French'.

Next up is Gordon Brown who remarks on the certain Englishness of their delicate poses, serene faces and serious gesture.

Lastly, and following a brief pause, José Luís Rodríguez Zapatero calls them all to order.'No way! Just look at the thing! They have neither clothes nor shoes. They're homeless and have nothing to eat but an apple. Worse yet, they don't complain and they believe they're living in Paradise. Spanish beyond a doubt!'

(Hat tip - Clover)

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